Dear beautiful woman,
You carry a miracle in your heart, but can you feel it?
Can you see how beautiful you are and how precious?
Or do you struggle with self-judgments
and have a hard time accepting yourself as you are?
Over the years I have developed a very loving way of looking at myself and other people.
I can honestly tell you: it has brought myself and others so much good!
Many people fear that loving yourself is selfish or self-indulgent, but it really isn't.
The more you love yourself, the more you become a loving presence in the world.
And isn't that exactly what our world needs?
I am all excited to share this guide with you to inspire you on your Self-Love journey!
Step 1: Becoming More Gentle With Yourself
Let me first tell you why I'm such a big fan of gentleness: BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE WORKS FOR ME.
Nothing opens the door of my heart as widely as true gentleness. Nothing helps me grow as fast and sustainably as being kind with myself. Nothing helps me connect with others as lovingly as the love I feel for myself.
I’m going to share a little personal story here to explain this in depth.
When I turned 17 I crashed with depression and chronic fatigue. My response to that happening was to forget about the world for a while and turn inwards completely.
What I found inside was a sad, fragile, tender young woman, who needed love like she needed air. And I started to give myself all the love I needed, with gentleness and care. I opened up to hearing what was alive in me, whatever it was, to hear it unconditionally.
And through this I healed and I got to know myself much better. For a long time I thought it was just me who needed gentleness so badly, and I even thought that if others would find out how gentle I was being with myself, they'd find it ridiculous and would laugh at me.
So for a long time I hid away and developed my Self-Love and gentleness in silence,
in my corner, in my room.
But as time went by, I gathered my courage and started writing to others from this place of gentleness and love. The feedback I received on my writing was overwhelming and touching. It moved me deeply to find out that others benefit from gentleness as well. I wasn't the odd one out with such a high need for gentle care.
So I became more confident, and started opening up in person as well, not only in my writing. And time and again I saw how people benefit from a gentle approach.
We are sensitive beings.
And we all have good intentions at our very core.
We deserve to be treated with openness, with kindness, with gentleness.
All of us.
Yet society doesn’t offer us that, and tells us to suppress feelings, to be strong, as if strong means to disconnect from your feelings.
So as you experiment with being more gentle with yourself, a lot of obstacles can come to the surface, such as old convictions and thoughts like "I'm not worthy of such kindness", "This is ridiculous", "I can't do this", ...
I find it’s helpful to make a list of these obstacles, to collect them and get an overview of what is hindering your Self-Love.
In Step 2 you can start removing these obstacles or transforming them so that they no longer stop you from being kind to yourself.
Another important part of Step 1 is to listen to yourself with an open heart. I see listening to yourself as gathering information.
It is very helpful to learn to distinguish between what you hear:
What is a feeling? What is a need? What is a longing? What is a thought? What is a defense-mechanism?
And so on …
As you listen to yourself, you can feel the need to express what you hear. It can be very cathartic and beneficial to express yourself freely in whatever way feels good to you: painting, dancing, talking, writing, drawing, moving, ...
It helps to bring outside what lives inside of you, in a safe and welcoming space. It puts things into motion, gives fresh air to your feelings and it helps you see what's alive in you.
Again, as you try all these things, obstacles can come to the surface, which you can collect in your list and take on in the next step.
Step 2: Removing The Obstacles That Hinder Your Self-Love
I am totally passionate about this, because it works!
I have removed so many limiting beliefs and patterns and judgments from my life and it is hugely liberating.
What I recommend is first tracking down where a self-judgment comes from, how it came into being.
Often this is related to something someone once said to you, which you internalized. As you go back to its roots and heal the pain that is there, these key questions come to the surfac:
Do you believe that you don't deserve to carry such a judgment with you, and never deserved to hear it in the first place?
Or do you still believe this judgment holds truth and that you deserve to think this about yourself?
If you feel you don’t deserve this judgment, you can start removing it from your inner life, by for example writing it down on a piece of paper and burning it with the intention to release it. Or bury it in the ground to lay it down to rest and be composted :-)
If you still feel you deserve this judgment, what I would give to you is love and support to unravel the full story of this judgment. I would surround you with gentleness and openness. I would see your innocence and name it, feel your good intentions, and strengthen in you the belief that you deserve love. I often find that when something gets broken in you through a hurtful interaction with another human, you need a loving interaction with a human to restore this, to heal.
That is why in my Self-Love Program, which is based on these 4 steps of developing Self-Love, I offer all my love to the participants. Because it helps, because being loved by someone and being seen in your innocence can open your heart to a more compassionate view of yourself. Because being watched with love helps you relaxe and breathe more freely and opens up the space to grow and heal.
For some people this process of reconnecting with the roots of a self-judgment brings up intense anger towards the person who judged you in the past. Releasing this anger through free expression can be really helpful. Sometimes you may feel the need to express your anger directly to this person. This can be very cathartic and liberating and sometimes opens someone's eyes to what they've done.
But depending on what the issue is and how your relationship with the person is, it can sometimes work better to first release your anger in a safe setting. Talking with this person can then happen later, once the intensity has calmed down and you are able to regain perspective, and to see that this person also had good intentions, but was struggling and so his or her harsh judgment of you came out unintentionally.
I find Non-Violent Communication very helpful in finding ways to express my feelings directly to someone. It can give you clarity and help you connect from heart to heart, so that sometimes this confrontational exchange can even become healing for both of you.
Another aspect of Step 2 is to take a loving look at self-hatred, in case you struggle with this. (If not you can go to Step 3 straight away.)
What I have found about self-hatred is that it is nothing more than your last resort in an unbearable situation. It is not your true feeling about yourself when all is well.
When the obstacles have accumulated over the years and you are under much pressure with little support, facing big challenges, feeling intense emotions with no trusted person with whom you can share these, ... if this goes on and on, sometimes it simply becomes unbearable.
And then turning hate against yourself is a painful way to cope with all of this.
It is nothing more than your last resort.
It is not your true feeling about yourself.
Even if you’re struggling with self-hatred on a daily basis, I still hold on to the love that also lives in your heart, and with which you can reconnect and get out of the dark.
I speak from experience here as well. I have felt self-hatred in my life. It is the most horrible, killing feeling.
And I have come out of it through getting the support and help I desperately needed, by building up beautiful respectful friendship with many people, and by developing my Self-Love to a very strong and steady inner flow which I can rely on.
If you struggle with self-hatred, I recommend tracking down where it begins, how one things leads to another and ends in hate towards yourself a a way to cope with an unbearable amount of pain and stress.
Often it starts with seemingly small events, like someone making a hurtful comment about you. I have learned that these things are not small. They are important. They deserve your attention and care. You are worthy of respect and love. I encourage you always to speak up for your true feelings. To take yourself seriously and start a conversation about what happened. If possible, in a gentle, non-violent way. If not possible, maybe in a fiercely protective way.
You are a sacred being. Your heart is sacred. You deserve respect. And you need respect to thrive.
Respect is not some sort of luxury product. It’s a necessity, it meets a vital, basic need.
Ignoring hurtful events can eventually lead to self-hatred.
When you get the support you need, when you speak up for yourself when something happens, when you take care of your needs, ... I doubt whether you'll ever feel self-hatred again.
Of course, in all of this, when you first start working on it, many obstacles willl show their face, thoughts like "I don't deserve this", "It's all my own fault", "There's something wrong with me", "I'll never get through this", ...
If you struggle with self-hatred I can whole-heartedly recommend to you to take the Self-Love Program with me. It can turn things around.
Step 3: Exploring Various Ways Of Self-Love
When you’ve opened up to a more gentle way of relating to yourself, and systematically removed the obstacles that hinder your Self-Love, when you've seen that self-hatred is nothing more than an alarm call that things have gone way too far and that you urgently need support and less weight to carry on your own, you are ready to start exploring which ways of Self-Love speak the most to you.
There are plenty of options!
These are 10 ways of loving yourself that I personally work with:
- Taking good care of yourself: This is in my eyes an absolute necessity to thrive. You can work on building self-care into your life, so that your needs get met.
- Appreciating yourself as a mother: There is a huge tendency among mothers to feel guilty any time you fall short of your ideals. Many struggle with perfectionism. It is enormously liberating if you can free yourself from this and feel appreciation for the mother you are, exactly as you are, all your strengths and weaknesses included.
- Embracing your sensitivity: Whether you are highly sensitive or not, we all are sensitive beings. We all thrive with well-attuned care and a life tailored to our true needs.
- Loving your inner child: My Self-Love wouldn't feel complete if I didn't include caring for my inner child into it. You can give room to your playfulness, you can write dialogues with your inner child, you can heal energetically in the way she needs, ...
- Asking for help: Do you struggle with asking for help? It can be a milestone in your life to remove the obstacles around this and come home to our simple reality of being an interdependent human who benefits from receiving and giving help.
- Honoring your dreams: I believe every person has personal dreams and life goals. They matter. They are important, even when they are hard to manifest. They are worth our attention and efforts, and accomplishing them can be deeply fulfilling.
- Creating a personal sacred place: If the word sacred doesn’t resonate with you, you can simply call this a 'personal place', where you gather objects with special meaning for you. To have a physical place in your house where you can see an expression of your growth every day, can be a helpful reminder to stay committed to what's important to you.
- Loving & accepting your body: Our dear bodies... they go through so much. How much do you care for your body, how much do you love it, accept it? Your body is your home, your temple, your haven. The more you love it, the happier you become.
- Speaking up for yourself: I feel deeply passionate about this one! Creating healthy boundaries can make a world of difference in your relationships with people. For many it takes a while to learn the skill of speaking up for yourself, but it is absolutely worth all your efforts and time. When you master this skill, you feel free and safe to connect deeply with people and whenever something upsets you, you bring it up.
- Identifying with your true self: Is your self-image accurate? Do you identify with who you really are? Maybe it is time for a reality-check, so that how you think about yourself matches who you are. I find it is empowering to have a truthful self-image.
(These first 3 ways of Self-Love I offer in the Self-Love Program, and the last 7 we work on in the Anchor Your Self-Love Program, the 6-month follow up program for who wants to dive even deeper into Self-Love.)
And there are many more options!
Every person is unique and Self-Love is something absolutely personal and intimate. I invite you to take a look at these entrances to SelfLove mentioned above and to try some things out, and of course to follow any other inspiration you have!
What I see in working with people on growing their Self-Love is that everyone is different. For some people, learning to embrace their sensitivity for example, opens the door to their heart, and for other that doesn't resonate so much, and it is rather learning to ask for help which creates a huge shift in how they feel about themselves and how much love flows into their lives.
Developing your Self-Love is an ongoing journey. You can keep deepening into it, and during some phases in your life one way of Self-Love will speak more to you than another. That's all fine.
The questions that are key here are:
What works for you? What opens your heart? What inspires you? What do you need most? And what is realistic for you right now?
It doesn’t help to make a huge list of all the things you need to do to take good care of yourself if simply looking at this list makes you feel overwhelmed.
I encourage people to go for the things that resonate most with you, that speak to you. And then take it from there to the next level. There is time to learn how to love yourself.
Step 4: Committing To Yourself
And then comes the big step: committing to yourself, if and when you are ready for it, that's very important to me. I don't push anyone to take this step when it doesn't feel right.
But for those who feel ready, committing to yourself in your own unique way an be extremely powerful. It can turn all the work you've done in growing your Self-Love into a lasting change.
I invite you to consider committing to yourself, which you can do in whatever way feels nice for you. For example you can become your own best friend, you can marry yourself (not legally :-) ), you can set an intention for yourself, or any other way you feel inspired to.
When I committed to myself I chose to marry myself, because I take my relationship with myself as seriously as any other engagement. It felt and still feels great for me.
And you know what's so fun about committing to yourself?
You are the boss here, you can decide everything about it.
You can give yourself complete freedom, you can make it fit your needs exactly.
And for example for me I have a strong need for things to feel real and fresh and true in the moment, so since I married myself, I have renewed my vows maybe 4 times already. Each time it feels very empowering to state exactly where I am and what I want and what I long for.
I hang my vows near my desk and read them often and when they don't resonate anymore or something new is bubbling up in me, I renew them. This works brilliantly for me.
It's hard to hide my passion for this! :-)
I remember when I wrote my initial vows for my private wedding, how I couldn’t make big promises to myself, like "I vow to always honor my heart." I could only express what was true for me then, which was something like "I stay as true to myself as possible".
That was my reality then and I just went with that. It felt honest and true, and it set something very beautiful into motion. I bought a wedding jewel for myself as a reminder of my commitment, which I wear very often. It empowers me in such a wonderful way.
So if this speaks to you, I encourage you to go for it! It can be a milestone in your life.
And it doesn’t have to be perfect.
Just you opening your heart for yourself is all you need.
You can commit to yourself right where you are at in this moment.
I find that each time I renew my vows, I reach deeper inside myself. I grow and take my Self-Love to the next level. There is no end to it, only a beautiful path of growth.
And yes, there can be a set-back sometimes. Things can happen in your life that unsettle you.
But hey, you are strong!
You can get back on track and reconnect with the love that patiently waits inside you.
Celebrating Yourself And Your Progress
Lastly, after all this work, it is time to look back on everything you've done and celebrate yourself and your progress. Celebrating is an essential part of Self-Love for me, and one that I love very much. It crates a feeling of completeness to recognize and validate all your efforts to open up to more Love for Yourself!
More information and support
Does all of this speak to you?
Do you long to make Self-Love your new reality and do you feel you can use some guidance and support on your journey?
Would you like to walk this path towards Self-Love with other sensitive women by your side?
Then maybe the Self-Love Program is exactly what you need!
You are most welcome to join the next group.
Here you can read all about it.
Contact me for more info and to request your free 20 minute Skype chat to talk about it all:
welcome@annemienijs.com
I’m thrilled to start with a new group soon
and can’t wait to see what this program will bring you
if you choose to work with me!
Warmly,
Annemie
You carry a miracle in your heart, but can you feel it?
Can you see how beautiful you are and how precious?
Or do you struggle with self-judgments
and have a hard time accepting yourself as you are?
Over the years I have developed a very loving way of looking at myself and other people.
I can honestly tell you: it has brought myself and others so much good!
Many people fear that loving yourself is selfish or self-indulgent, but it really isn't.
The more you love yourself, the more you become a loving presence in the world.
And isn't that exactly what our world needs?
I am all excited to share this guide with you to inspire you on your Self-Love journey!
Step 1: Becoming More Gentle With Yourself
Let me first tell you why I'm such a big fan of gentleness: BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE WORKS FOR ME.
Nothing opens the door of my heart as widely as true gentleness. Nothing helps me grow as fast and sustainably as being kind with myself. Nothing helps me connect with others as lovingly as the love I feel for myself.
I’m going to share a little personal story here to explain this in depth.
When I turned 17 I crashed with depression and chronic fatigue. My response to that happening was to forget about the world for a while and turn inwards completely.
What I found inside was a sad, fragile, tender young woman, who needed love like she needed air. And I started to give myself all the love I needed, with gentleness and care. I opened up to hearing what was alive in me, whatever it was, to hear it unconditionally.
And through this I healed and I got to know myself much better. For a long time I thought it was just me who needed gentleness so badly, and I even thought that if others would find out how gentle I was being with myself, they'd find it ridiculous and would laugh at me.
So for a long time I hid away and developed my Self-Love and gentleness in silence,
in my corner, in my room.
But as time went by, I gathered my courage and started writing to others from this place of gentleness and love. The feedback I received on my writing was overwhelming and touching. It moved me deeply to find out that others benefit from gentleness as well. I wasn't the odd one out with such a high need for gentle care.
So I became more confident, and started opening up in person as well, not only in my writing. And time and again I saw how people benefit from a gentle approach.
We are sensitive beings.
And we all have good intentions at our very core.
We deserve to be treated with openness, with kindness, with gentleness.
All of us.
Yet society doesn’t offer us that, and tells us to suppress feelings, to be strong, as if strong means to disconnect from your feelings.
So as you experiment with being more gentle with yourself, a lot of obstacles can come to the surface, such as old convictions and thoughts like "I'm not worthy of such kindness", "This is ridiculous", "I can't do this", ...
I find it’s helpful to make a list of these obstacles, to collect them and get an overview of what is hindering your Self-Love.
In Step 2 you can start removing these obstacles or transforming them so that they no longer stop you from being kind to yourself.
Another important part of Step 1 is to listen to yourself with an open heart. I see listening to yourself as gathering information.
It is very helpful to learn to distinguish between what you hear:
What is a feeling? What is a need? What is a longing? What is a thought? What is a defense-mechanism?
And so on …
As you listen to yourself, you can feel the need to express what you hear. It can be very cathartic and beneficial to express yourself freely in whatever way feels good to you: painting, dancing, talking, writing, drawing, moving, ...
It helps to bring outside what lives inside of you, in a safe and welcoming space. It puts things into motion, gives fresh air to your feelings and it helps you see what's alive in you.
Again, as you try all these things, obstacles can come to the surface, which you can collect in your list and take on in the next step.
Step 2: Removing The Obstacles That Hinder Your Self-Love
I am totally passionate about this, because it works!
I have removed so many limiting beliefs and patterns and judgments from my life and it is hugely liberating.
What I recommend is first tracking down where a self-judgment comes from, how it came into being.
Often this is related to something someone once said to you, which you internalized. As you go back to its roots and heal the pain that is there, these key questions come to the surfac:
Do you believe that you don't deserve to carry such a judgment with you, and never deserved to hear it in the first place?
Or do you still believe this judgment holds truth and that you deserve to think this about yourself?
If you feel you don’t deserve this judgment, you can start removing it from your inner life, by for example writing it down on a piece of paper and burning it with the intention to release it. Or bury it in the ground to lay it down to rest and be composted :-)
If you still feel you deserve this judgment, what I would give to you is love and support to unravel the full story of this judgment. I would surround you with gentleness and openness. I would see your innocence and name it, feel your good intentions, and strengthen in you the belief that you deserve love. I often find that when something gets broken in you through a hurtful interaction with another human, you need a loving interaction with a human to restore this, to heal.
That is why in my Self-Love Program, which is based on these 4 steps of developing Self-Love, I offer all my love to the participants. Because it helps, because being loved by someone and being seen in your innocence can open your heart to a more compassionate view of yourself. Because being watched with love helps you relaxe and breathe more freely and opens up the space to grow and heal.
For some people this process of reconnecting with the roots of a self-judgment brings up intense anger towards the person who judged you in the past. Releasing this anger through free expression can be really helpful. Sometimes you may feel the need to express your anger directly to this person. This can be very cathartic and liberating and sometimes opens someone's eyes to what they've done.
But depending on what the issue is and how your relationship with the person is, it can sometimes work better to first release your anger in a safe setting. Talking with this person can then happen later, once the intensity has calmed down and you are able to regain perspective, and to see that this person also had good intentions, but was struggling and so his or her harsh judgment of you came out unintentionally.
I find Non-Violent Communication very helpful in finding ways to express my feelings directly to someone. It can give you clarity and help you connect from heart to heart, so that sometimes this confrontational exchange can even become healing for both of you.
Another aspect of Step 2 is to take a loving look at self-hatred, in case you struggle with this. (If not you can go to Step 3 straight away.)
What I have found about self-hatred is that it is nothing more than your last resort in an unbearable situation. It is not your true feeling about yourself when all is well.
When the obstacles have accumulated over the years and you are under much pressure with little support, facing big challenges, feeling intense emotions with no trusted person with whom you can share these, ... if this goes on and on, sometimes it simply becomes unbearable.
And then turning hate against yourself is a painful way to cope with all of this.
It is nothing more than your last resort.
It is not your true feeling about yourself.
Even if you’re struggling with self-hatred on a daily basis, I still hold on to the love that also lives in your heart, and with which you can reconnect and get out of the dark.
I speak from experience here as well. I have felt self-hatred in my life. It is the most horrible, killing feeling.
And I have come out of it through getting the support and help I desperately needed, by building up beautiful respectful friendship with many people, and by developing my Self-Love to a very strong and steady inner flow which I can rely on.
If you struggle with self-hatred, I recommend tracking down where it begins, how one things leads to another and ends in hate towards yourself a a way to cope with an unbearable amount of pain and stress.
Often it starts with seemingly small events, like someone making a hurtful comment about you. I have learned that these things are not small. They are important. They deserve your attention and care. You are worthy of respect and love. I encourage you always to speak up for your true feelings. To take yourself seriously and start a conversation about what happened. If possible, in a gentle, non-violent way. If not possible, maybe in a fiercely protective way.
You are a sacred being. Your heart is sacred. You deserve respect. And you need respect to thrive.
Respect is not some sort of luxury product. It’s a necessity, it meets a vital, basic need.
Ignoring hurtful events can eventually lead to self-hatred.
When you get the support you need, when you speak up for yourself when something happens, when you take care of your needs, ... I doubt whether you'll ever feel self-hatred again.
Of course, in all of this, when you first start working on it, many obstacles willl show their face, thoughts like "I don't deserve this", "It's all my own fault", "There's something wrong with me", "I'll never get through this", ...
If you struggle with self-hatred I can whole-heartedly recommend to you to take the Self-Love Program with me. It can turn things around.
Step 3: Exploring Various Ways Of Self-Love
When you’ve opened up to a more gentle way of relating to yourself, and systematically removed the obstacles that hinder your Self-Love, when you've seen that self-hatred is nothing more than an alarm call that things have gone way too far and that you urgently need support and less weight to carry on your own, you are ready to start exploring which ways of Self-Love speak the most to you.
There are plenty of options!
These are 10 ways of loving yourself that I personally work with:
- Taking good care of yourself: This is in my eyes an absolute necessity to thrive. You can work on building self-care into your life, so that your needs get met.
- Appreciating yourself as a mother: There is a huge tendency among mothers to feel guilty any time you fall short of your ideals. Many struggle with perfectionism. It is enormously liberating if you can free yourself from this and feel appreciation for the mother you are, exactly as you are, all your strengths and weaknesses included.
- Embracing your sensitivity: Whether you are highly sensitive or not, we all are sensitive beings. We all thrive with well-attuned care and a life tailored to our true needs.
- Loving your inner child: My Self-Love wouldn't feel complete if I didn't include caring for my inner child into it. You can give room to your playfulness, you can write dialogues with your inner child, you can heal energetically in the way she needs, ...
- Asking for help: Do you struggle with asking for help? It can be a milestone in your life to remove the obstacles around this and come home to our simple reality of being an interdependent human who benefits from receiving and giving help.
- Honoring your dreams: I believe every person has personal dreams and life goals. They matter. They are important, even when they are hard to manifest. They are worth our attention and efforts, and accomplishing them can be deeply fulfilling.
- Creating a personal sacred place: If the word sacred doesn’t resonate with you, you can simply call this a 'personal place', where you gather objects with special meaning for you. To have a physical place in your house where you can see an expression of your growth every day, can be a helpful reminder to stay committed to what's important to you.
- Loving & accepting your body: Our dear bodies... they go through so much. How much do you care for your body, how much do you love it, accept it? Your body is your home, your temple, your haven. The more you love it, the happier you become.
- Speaking up for yourself: I feel deeply passionate about this one! Creating healthy boundaries can make a world of difference in your relationships with people. For many it takes a while to learn the skill of speaking up for yourself, but it is absolutely worth all your efforts and time. When you master this skill, you feel free and safe to connect deeply with people and whenever something upsets you, you bring it up.
- Identifying with your true self: Is your self-image accurate? Do you identify with who you really are? Maybe it is time for a reality-check, so that how you think about yourself matches who you are. I find it is empowering to have a truthful self-image.
(These first 3 ways of Self-Love I offer in the Self-Love Program, and the last 7 we work on in the Anchor Your Self-Love Program, the 6-month follow up program for who wants to dive even deeper into Self-Love.)
And there are many more options!
Every person is unique and Self-Love is something absolutely personal and intimate. I invite you to take a look at these entrances to SelfLove mentioned above and to try some things out, and of course to follow any other inspiration you have!
What I see in working with people on growing their Self-Love is that everyone is different. For some people, learning to embrace their sensitivity for example, opens the door to their heart, and for other that doesn't resonate so much, and it is rather learning to ask for help which creates a huge shift in how they feel about themselves and how much love flows into their lives.
Developing your Self-Love is an ongoing journey. You can keep deepening into it, and during some phases in your life one way of Self-Love will speak more to you than another. That's all fine.
The questions that are key here are:
What works for you? What opens your heart? What inspires you? What do you need most? And what is realistic for you right now?
It doesn’t help to make a huge list of all the things you need to do to take good care of yourself if simply looking at this list makes you feel overwhelmed.
I encourage people to go for the things that resonate most with you, that speak to you. And then take it from there to the next level. There is time to learn how to love yourself.
Step 4: Committing To Yourself
And then comes the big step: committing to yourself, if and when you are ready for it, that's very important to me. I don't push anyone to take this step when it doesn't feel right.
But for those who feel ready, committing to yourself in your own unique way an be extremely powerful. It can turn all the work you've done in growing your Self-Love into a lasting change.
I invite you to consider committing to yourself, which you can do in whatever way feels nice for you. For example you can become your own best friend, you can marry yourself (not legally :-) ), you can set an intention for yourself, or any other way you feel inspired to.
When I committed to myself I chose to marry myself, because I take my relationship with myself as seriously as any other engagement. It felt and still feels great for me.
And you know what's so fun about committing to yourself?
You are the boss here, you can decide everything about it.
You can give yourself complete freedom, you can make it fit your needs exactly.
And for example for me I have a strong need for things to feel real and fresh and true in the moment, so since I married myself, I have renewed my vows maybe 4 times already. Each time it feels very empowering to state exactly where I am and what I want and what I long for.
I hang my vows near my desk and read them often and when they don't resonate anymore or something new is bubbling up in me, I renew them. This works brilliantly for me.
It's hard to hide my passion for this! :-)
I remember when I wrote my initial vows for my private wedding, how I couldn’t make big promises to myself, like "I vow to always honor my heart." I could only express what was true for me then, which was something like "I stay as true to myself as possible".
That was my reality then and I just went with that. It felt honest and true, and it set something very beautiful into motion. I bought a wedding jewel for myself as a reminder of my commitment, which I wear very often. It empowers me in such a wonderful way.
So if this speaks to you, I encourage you to go for it! It can be a milestone in your life.
And it doesn’t have to be perfect.
Just you opening your heart for yourself is all you need.
You can commit to yourself right where you are at in this moment.
I find that each time I renew my vows, I reach deeper inside myself. I grow and take my Self-Love to the next level. There is no end to it, only a beautiful path of growth.
And yes, there can be a set-back sometimes. Things can happen in your life that unsettle you.
But hey, you are strong!
You can get back on track and reconnect with the love that patiently waits inside you.
Celebrating Yourself And Your Progress
Lastly, after all this work, it is time to look back on everything you've done and celebrate yourself and your progress. Celebrating is an essential part of Self-Love for me, and one that I love very much. It crates a feeling of completeness to recognize and validate all your efforts to open up to more Love for Yourself!
More information and support
Does all of this speak to you?
Do you long to make Self-Love your new reality and do you feel you can use some guidance and support on your journey?
Would you like to walk this path towards Self-Love with other sensitive women by your side?
Then maybe the Self-Love Program is exactly what you need!
You are most welcome to join the next group.
Here you can read all about it.
Contact me for more info and to request your free 20 minute Skype chat to talk about it all:
welcome@annemienijs.com
I’m thrilled to start with a new group soon
and can’t wait to see what this program will bring you
if you choose to work with me!
Warmly,
Annemie
