3 Continuum concept moms' experiences with clean parenting

I was incredibly touched this past month by an exchange that happened in a Continuum Concept forum. 

(If you're not familiar with this book and want to learn more about it, click here.)

It was started by a mom in my current Clean Parenting group (she was a third of the way through the program at that point,) and then 2 moms who did my program 3 and 6 years ago jumped in with their own experiences.

I'm sharing this with you because as much as you can get a sense of what's possible through clean parenting and through working with me, nothing can bring it to life like real moms experiencing it.

Describing in detail the circumstances they were previously living, how they transformed them, and the different parenting 'principles' (for lack of a better word - I never know what to use for this!) that brought about those much welcome and heartwarming results.

As I tell you over and over, parenting CAN be easy. With the right approach, the right attitude and a little bit of skill.

But don't believe me. 

Believe Areej, Laura and Alice.

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FINALLY SOME FAMILY HARMONY

free continuum concept mini course!
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In this course I guide you, using the same powerful process I use in all my programs, in embodying different aspects of the attitude and philosophy which create the incredible presence, attunement, ease and harmony that the Yequana parents have.

​And that I also experienced in my family and have guided thousands of parents in living as well.

 
Hello everyone!  

I hope you’ve all been having a colourful and cozy start to the fall season, and if you’re elsewhere in the world, I hope your days are just as lovely. :)
 
I’m writing to you today because I would love to share a special joy I’ve recently been experiencing. After 2 years and a few months of a very difficult start with my highly spirited daughter, Amina, I finally feel like I’ve found a peace and balance with her. I’m more hopeful for my relationship with her and my future kids. Just thinking of my future kids at this moment makes me so eager to imagine her taking on her role as a big sister. A few months ago, this thought made me very anxious and sad.
To give you some context, she’s extremely sensitive and very intense. She feels every emotion of mine before I even realize I’m feeling anything. Her physical activity needs are beyond what I ever imagined so our tiny living room is now an indoor jungle gym, equipped with a mini trampoline, stall bars, swings, ropes and she GOES! Very practical for rainy days in Quebec!
 
She has a LOT of energy to release. She loves screaming, singing, talking, jumping, hugging and tickling. I wish they started kids in Brazilian jui jitsu at 2 years old because that’s where I think she’d shine and I believe she’s ready to start. My little fireball. It’s wonderful and exhausting and it used to be an absolute rollercoaster. And I didn’t know how to deal day in and day out!

Yet, over the last two months there’s been a palpable difference in my relationship with beans (that’s Aminas nickname :) ) including the relationship with my husband! It’s so refreshing. And now when I feel myself losing my patience, getting frustrated or resentful I try to see them as red flags and get curious about them, rather than flat out rejecting or resisting them. I simply can’t afford to let things fester anymore when I know how much they have affected my health and my family in turn.
I remember SK {forum member} once mentioned working with Eliane Sainte-Marie through the Clean Parenting Program and that’s exactly what I’m doing! Thank you for the extra nudge SK. :)
 
The atmosphere at home has been so much calmer and although not without issues, it’s so much more fun to live and be together today than it was just 2 months ago. My husband joked that he got a new daughter and a new wife! Even the communication between him and I has improved a lot. I shared my intention/vision for my family with him (something we do at the start of the program) and we’ve been able to have more productive conversations since then.

Before the program started, I wouldn’t even try to make things better. I would just get angry and not even attempt to find solutions. I wasn’t raised in a place where my needs mattered so I didn’t know how to ask for what I needed (still working on it). Now that I have space to see this behaviour, I can see how heavily it was weighing down on me and naturally my family. There are solutions to be found, win-wins, (one big part of the program is learning how to find win-wins)! And yes, my needs do matter if I want to contribute my best self forward. How can I be my best self if my needs are not being met? I only came to this realization very recently after a lot of deep (and often uncomfortable) work, some of which was done in private sessions with Eliane. Thinking about my self worth just 2 months ago brings me to tears as I write this now, just remembering what it was like.

I feel like I’m melting into my role as a mother. I knew theoretically and factually that I am a mom, going through the motions, doing what had to be done in the best way I knew how. Yet for some reason I wasn’t seeing, feeling or embodying (I think that’s one of my biggest takeaways from the program) my role as a mother, parent or leader. I was just coasting and trying to make it work. There’s something different now. Instead of resentment, there’s an embrace. When I drop her at daycare, I’m hesitant to leave her and I’m giddy on the way to pick her up.

The program and the direct connection with Eliane has shifted something so deeply within me and my family. I’m feeling such gratitude to Eliane every day. I know there’s so much more work to be done and it hasn’t been easy but the results are giving me a breath of air and a nudge and a half. Like Eliane always says, it’s simple but it’s not easy. That’s how I keep feeling.
 
I wanted to share some links below if this resonates with anyone here, or you think someone else might benefit from it. I know there’s a program starting soon so I hope by sharing this information, someone may find the same peace, guidance and healing that I have.
 
Much love to all,
Areej
Daughter 2 years
Montreal, Canada
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Continuum Concept Interview by Geralyn Gendreau
Applying the Continuum Concept Parenting Philosophy to Modern Day Parenting ​

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​Hi Areej,

I haven't written in this forum for a long time but when I saw your post I felt so touched as I had also an amazing transformational experience doing the Clean Parenting Program with Eliane Sainte-Marie.

My son Dario is 11 years old now and many, many times I told him and I still tell him that he would have been such a different child if I wouldn't have met Eliane!

It was the best investment I have ever made to have raised him the continuum concept way and really studying in depth Eliane's teachings.

I am so immensely grateful to have found her work. Before I met her, like it happened to many respectful parents, I wanted to be so nice and respectful to my son that I didn't realize that at a certain age the child's needs become preferences. So when my son was around 2 - 2,5, it felt literally like he was a little tyrant, when he wanted something and he couldn't have it, he would shout sooooo loud that me and his dad couldn't take it so we made the mistake to give him whatever he wanted just so he would stop shouting!...

So of course, when I started reading Eliane's blogs I started to realise that we were literally teaching him to shout...

From Eliane's work I learned how to be a benevolent leader and be very clear with my energy.

I learned to hold space for him and allow him to express his emotions but without allowing behaviour that I didn't find acceptable.

And my life became SOOOOO much easier. Before I lived so stressed out not knowing when he was going to start shouting again, I felt a bit literally scared of his behaviour. My life was so complicated as I would plan my day according to what he suddenly was demanding! So I was stressed as I didn't know what he was going to come up with... not being myself the leader at all...

After the course, I could be very clear to him. I learned that when he asked me something I had to decide very quickly if it was Yes or No and then stick to it. And he responded so fast to my change.

I could plan my day and what I thought it was best to do, while of course also taking into account what he wanted to do, but I could really be the leader, so my son got calmer and calmer.

When I learned to be very clear his shouting got less and less. And it was so interesting because his dad had a harder time being a leader so if he would ask for an ice cream and I was alone and said no, he would stop asking for it, but if his dad was around even if I said no, even if he would not say anything my son will keep asking for it because he could literally feel the doubt in him.

Another thing that I turned around completely doing the course, was to take care also about my needs. Before, I would always put my son's needs first until I ended up exhausted and burned out. And Eliane taught me to take into account my needs too, to be really authentic with my son. Because I thought I was doing him a favor by always putting him first, but the opposite was true. Then I learned that the best I could do is to give him an example of how to stay in balance by taking care of myself.

So even when he was very young, I would explain to him that I needed to meditate and he would leave me to be quiet by myself. So he also learned to do that with friends. If they would stay for many hours he would say to them "I need to play a bit alone for a while so I can be balanced again,"

And now he is 11 and I am so immensely proud of the child he became. He is so creative, confident, he cares so much about other people, he always behaves super well, he is really, really honest. Most of the time he is with me as his dad is travelling and he really helps me around in the house, he really takes into account my needs too, even at this age!

And on top of all these things (and many more) which I got from the course, I grew immensely as a person.

 came so in contact with my own Inner Child, I learned to hold space for my own little girl every time I got triggered and this transformed and healed me so deeply and it started a deep journey to find my authentic self.

Now, not only is my son authentic and really connected to himself but I am too. There is so much power when somebody is there for us holding space and unconditional love, and this is what Eliane did for us during those weeks in the program, like you said Areej. I highly recommend it too. It is so, so worthwhile.

hank you for writing your post, I hope this helps lots of other families too.

And I love this forum so much! I would write more often! All the best to all of you,

Laura Fraticelli
Dario 11 years old
The Hague, The Netherlands
 

Hi Laura,

Thank you for sharing your experience. I was so touched and had goosebumps the whole way through. I had tears in my eyes because I totally resonate with what you’re saying. There’s a special magic when you can connect with your child in a real authentic way. To WANT to be around each other (something I don’t see a lot in the families I’ve known in real life and it makes me sad.)

’m so glad you were able to connect with Eliane and that your relationship with Dario (love his name btw) is loving and harmonious even until today. I think that’s the beauty of the program. Like there’s no one size fits all, what to do when… it’s really about cleaning up our baggage so we can parent from our instincts. This is so incredibly valuable.

It’s so awesome that you worked on being a clear benevolent leader and cleared your energy around that. I’m still working hard to find that clear leader in me. To be clear also about the non- négociables Vs preferences and then having realistic expectations. There’s so much work to be cleaned up in my old conditioning but I’m so committed to this, especially with the results I’ve already had.

I totally get how Dario responded fast to your changes. I couldn’t believe how fast Amina did too! It’s so cool that he can already ask for space and balance when he needs it! That’s so beautiful. He sounds like a wonderful little man. :)

YES! The inner child pain came up a lot for me too. Realizing I need to take care of my inner child, facing the mother I have vs the mother I thought or hoped to have. It was such powerful work. So much came up that I never imagined. I had a lot of baggage. A lot of healing. And while it will never end, Eliane’s been guiding and nudging me in all the right directions.

You say it perfectly when you talk about someone holding space for you to process emotions. I didn’t realise how much deeper I could go with the right kind of support.

So touched to read your experience. Thank you again for sharing.

Much love to you and to the group!

Areej
​Daughter, Amina 2 yr 3m

​Dear Areej and Laura,

I wanted to follow on from your glowing emails about Eliane's Clean Parenting Programme. It was so great to read how much she has helped you both! I have taken a while to respond because we've just welcomed our second child to our family. Something happened last night with our first daughter that made me feel even more passionate about replying here and adding my praise for the CPP. I really hope some other readers will be able to experience the life changing nature of this course!

Although I did the course when my first daughter was 18 months old, and she is now 4.5 years old, it still is having such long lasting effects on our whole family. In fact I'm certain I wouldn't have been able to have another child just yet without the course - particularly without the inner work that I then went on to do as a result of doing the course and realising how much anxiety, past trauma and stress I was living with which was negatively affecting my life (in a huge way).

Last night, our first daughter was having a really hard time with my husband. I was feeding our baby Willa (an almost constant job at the moment) and he was trying to get Ottilie to sleep. She was really tired but just would not settle, was so angry, was pushing him away, saying everything is wrong, even shouting and screaming at him. This is very unlike her. I felt exhausted and out of resources, I felt like I didn't have the capacity to meet her where she was but there was something tugging at me that knew that I needed to step in because I could see what she was going through (thanks to the CPP - it's like it gave me a new set of eyes that can really SEE what she's experiencing, from her point of view, which in turn helps me to access deep empathy even when I'm out of energy/lacking capacity). So I brought baby into the bedroom with me, carried on nursing her, but also helped my oldest daughter reach her wall of futility (another term I learnt thanks to Eliane - probably one of THE most useful and life changing terms I have ever learnt!), which in turn led to her going from 'mad to sad', which meant she let me curl up with her in bed (having been hitting and screaming 'go away' beforehand) and really try to tune into what was going on. I said to her "do you miss our old life?" and she just broke down into huge sobs - yes, this was it. I let her cry, I hugged her, I told her that sometimes I also miss our old life too, life before her little sister came, because it is really intense at the moment, these early days with a new sibling. And I also told her how much I love my big sister, how incredible it has been having a sister all my life, and how all of that is to come for her and Willa. We really really connected. For the first time since Willa's birth 2 weeks ago. And she curled up in my arms and fell asleep, and since then has been SO much more 'herself' and seems to have had a weight lifted off her shoulders. Without the course, I would have been so worried if Ottilie had said anything like "I don't want a baby sister anymore" - I would have panicked! How to respond to that?! How can I take away that pain for her? But I would probably also have felt cross at her for daring to feel that way, etc etc. These were all learnt behaviours from my childhood, but now I just know that it's all ok. Anything she's feeling is welcome, and in this instance I was able to talk to her about how it's possible and ok and normal to feel like she misses our old life AND that she loves her sister - it's confusing, but it's natural to feel both things. To let her know that what she is feeling is welcome, isn't bad, and isn't a major disaster is just such a huge blessing after the childhood I had where I felt that any negative feeling was to be avoided.

​I really wouldn't have been able to do any of this without Eliane's programme. And I'm so excited to experience life with a newborn from the perspective Eliane has given me. It's so much more than a 'how to' parenting course - it's more like a deep dive into human nature, touching on relationships, trauma healing and topics like empathy and family homeostasis.

If anyone is hesitating, I really couldn't recommend it anymore highly, and same to her one to one coaching sessions too!

Best wishes to you all,

Alice UK
With Ottilie (4.5) and Willa (2 weeks) and my husband Alex

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​Hello everyone,

Alice, congratulations on welcoming baby Willa into the world! What a magical and cataclysmic time this must be for you. I love how your experience with the program allowed you to process that situation with your daughter. I'm also learning through the program that being authentic and letting emotions be there without trying to resist them can create such healing and deep connection. I resisted pain for so long but I know it has much to teach. I’m so glad for you that you can be there for your daughter from a clean authentic place.

Thank you for sharing your experiences with CPP Laura and Alice. I’m only halfway through the program and reaping the benefits so much. Seeing that you guys are still reaping the benefits gives me even more hope for the future. May your families (and everyone’s here) continue to thrive and be harmonious.

Eliane, I love the idea of having a “parents” stories section! What a great opportunity for the community to be able to get to know each other more and learn from one another. Thank you all for this beautiful thread.

​Areej

Did you love reading these stories? 

Are you feeling inspired by them? 
Want to be able to tell your own similar story next year? 
Wondering if this could possibly work for you as well?

If you deeply resonate with what I talk about in my work, you most likely WILL be able to write your own heartwarming story to inspire my readers in a few months!

IF you're willing to put in the same work Areej, Alice and Laura did. 

It is very intensive work. It takes your willingness to dive deep for 3 months and invest lots of time and some money.

But it is way more work to parent without the kind of clarity, alignment, connection and skills that come from clean parenting!

And the results from this work!! You and your children and generations to come will experience its benefits in ways you can't even yet fathom. The ripples from it are endless.

You do NOT have to struggle through parenting. There is a path out of that struggle and to the ease, flow and harmony described in today's stories.
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Fill out the form below if you too would like my help in achieving it. I would love to guide you to YOUR family's harmony, as I have these 3 amazing moms.

I really REALLY hope that you got from these stories that parenting does NOT have to be hard! 

And that you commit yourself to achieving the ease that is possible, whatever your path to it may be. 

You and your children deserve that. ♥ 

Lots of love,

​If you want my help in applying the Continuum Concept parenting ideals in your family and in experiencing what Laura, Alice and Areej have,  fill out this questionnaire and the sign up form below, and we'll set up a time to chat to determine the best way to get you there.

I'd LOVE to work with you if we're a good fit! ♥
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