Are You Focused On Meeting My Needs or Just Controlling My Behaviors?

By Eliane of Parenting For Wholeness

Think about this for a minute.

Imagine a day when you’re feeling great. You had a good breakfast, feel rested, had a great connecting evening with your hubby last night, the sun is shining, you’re currently working on a project with a team leader who you like and values you and you have some fun plans for the day.

How do you react if your child spills a big glass of juice on the floor? Or someone asks you for a favor?

Then imagine a different scenario where your baby’s been sick and kept you up most of the night, you haven't had time to eat, your house is a mess, you had an argument with your hubby the night before, and there’s a project leader pushing you, not very nicely, to deliver on something that’s due today.

NOW how do you react when your child spills the juice, or someone asks you for a favor?

And how would it impact your behavior if your husband yelled at you or cut your monthly grocery budget for being snappy with your child? Or if he offered to take you out for a fun night IF you're nicer to your son?

I provide this analogy in my webinar "Your Clear Pathway to Parenting Harmony: 7 Keys to Becoming a Peaceful Parent," in the context of the 4th element which is FOCUSING ON MEETING NEEDS.

It might be a bit extreme of an example, but I really want to drive home the point that people act their best when their needs are met. And that similarly, they behave negatively when their needs aren’t met. And that it's not by trying to manipulate the symptoms of the unmet needs that you get true positive results.

For more on meeting needs and to learn to other 6 keys to becoming a peaceful parent, you can register for my webinar which I'll be presenting again on January 21st.

(I have several more analogies like this one to help you realize the differences between peaceful and traditional parenting from your perspective.)
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