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By Eliane, founder of Parenting For Wholeness
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I recently presented a webinar titled Your Clear Pathway: 7 Keys to Becoming a Peaceful Parent, in which I described what I found, after working with hundreds of parents, to be seven keys to being able to successfully and consistently parent peacefully.
(I’ll be offering this webinar again on Sunday January 21st. Click here to reserve your spot in it and if you want to find out what the other 6 keys are.)
And I want to talk to you today about one of them, which is to FULLY COMMIT YOURSELF TO PEACEFUL PARENTING.
But before diving into it, we need to talk about a condition that’s critical in order for you to be able to fully commit yourself.
And that’s to BELIEVE that it IS possible to consistently parent peacefully AND to experience ease and harmony in your family.
If you don’t believe that, you’re unlikely to be willing to make that commitment.
Why would you commit yourself to something you don’t fully believe in?
And why would you commit yourself to something that you don’t fully trust will lead to you delightful results?
This is why I write and talk a lot about what IS possible.
It’s not to brag or make it seem like I’m better than others.
In fact, the reason I know this parenting approach is so effective and powerful is BECAUSE of all the ways I’ve fallen short of my ideals and BECAUSE of all the ways I’m NOT a great mom, and yet it still worked so beautifully for me!
(You can read some of my confessions around that here.)
So part of the work for you, if you want to consistently parent peacefully, is to get yourself to that place of fully believing that it’s possible.
And if you need help in this, here are 8 suggestions:
And here are 3 articles I wrote which speak of my experience in my family and the ease that is possible:
And if you need help in this, here are 8 suggestions:
- Of course you can keep following me and reading and listening to what I share ☺ (click here to follow my Facebook page and here to get on my email list or buy my book.)
- Read supporting books (click here to read my recommended list.)
- Follow inspirational blogs
- Surround yourself with people who also believe in it, maybe people who have more experience in it, or who have older children (moms I know have made like-minded friends through La Leche League, babywearing groups, attachment and peaceful parenting groups, homeschooling and unschooling groups, etc)
- If you’re active on Facebook, join peaceful parenting groups and ONLY post parenting questions in those groups!
- Stay away from groups and in general from people who will lead you to start questioning yourself. UNTIL you’ve solidly found your peaceful parenting footing. I’m not necessarily saying to end relationships, but just to stay away as much as possible from naysayers until you’re confident in your approach.
- Also, just pay attention when you read or hear things that resonate with you. It’s very likely that if you’re reading this article, something in you KNOWS that it’s possible to have ease and harmony with children. Trust that. This is your voice of truth, your guidance system.
- You can also join one of my programs. It’s so heartwarming for me to see how enthusiastic and positive many moms feel once they find themselves in a group as committed as them AND as they really start seeing results in their families as a result of the program!
And here are 3 articles I wrote which speak of my experience in my family and the ease that is possible:
If you don’t fully believe that it’s possible, then it will be really hard to remain committed to peaceful parenting, and that commitment is KEY in consistently becoming a peaceful parent.
Have you had situations in your life where you’ve TRIED to do something? Maybe you’ve TRIED to eat healthy? TRIED to exercise regularly? TRIED to stop criticizing people?
And how did that work for you?
How easy was it for you to give in to that piece of chocolate cake or burger when you were TRYING to eat healthy?
How easy was it to decide to read a book, watch TV, or go do something more fun instead of working out when you were TRYING to exercise regularly?
Contrast that with a time when you’ve committed yourself to something. Where the alternative was not an option.
How different was that experience?
And can you tell how different the energy feels in your body?
THIS energy of full commitment is what you need to become a peaceful parent.
If you’re fully committed to peaceful parenting, it doesn’t mean you’ll never falter. Not at all! But it does mean that when it happens, instead of giving up, you’ll go to work figuring out what you could have done differently, and what you still need to learn so it doesn’t keep happening.
But if you’re not fully committed, as soon as things aren’t quite working out it will be easy to switch to a more mainstream response to your children’s behaviors or feelings.
You’ll likely be easily swayed by others’ criticisms or different beliefs and it’ll be easy to think ‘oh I tried and it didn’t work out. I was right to doubt it.’
But it won’t be because it’s not possible that it didn’t work out.
It’s going to be either because it takes some time to really embody it, or it could also be because you did it in a half ass way, so weren’t fully grounded in it.
Does that make sense?
As far as finding that place of commitment within you, I’m honestly not really sure how to do it, because in my life, all the significant commitments I’ve made have arisen organically, and I’ve not been able to conjure them at will.
BUT I do know that total commitment to a goal, as I did when I committed myself to my girls never feeling unloved and unworthy the way I did, is what’s allowed me to achieve things in my life that everyone told me where impossible.
One thing that I do know helps, from working with lots of moms, is surrounding yourself with other parents who have the same values as you do, and are committed to peaceful parenting, and maybe a bit more experienced and skilled than you are, so you can learn from them and see what it looks like in real life!
And if you really resonate with my work and my perspective and are ready to fully commit yourself and take action to become a peaceful parent NOW, I’d seriously consider signing up for one of my highly effective programs.
This will not only bring you a step-by-step map to get there, the support and the like-minded tribe that I talked about, but since you will experience some serious positive shifts in your family quickly, it will go a long way, if you’re not already there, to fully believing that it’s possible to parent peacefully and have ease and harmony in your family, and to inspire you to fully commit yourself to it.
So… are you? Fully committed to peaceful parenting? And if not, what’s in your way of doing so?
And if you are fully committed, are you consistently living it yet? If not, what needs to happen to move you toward it?
Ready to do whatever it takes to successfully and consistently parent peacefully by fall time?
Then join me in my next Clean Parenting™ group!
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If you want my full and dedicated support in fully establishing your peaceful parenting foundation and clearing any obstacles, in your AND your children, that are in the way of you experiencing peace, ease and harmony in your family, then my Clean Parenting™ Program might be perfect for you!
Email me to set up a FREE 30 minute Parenting Can Be Easy! Strategy session and we can discuss if it would be the right fit for you and your family. I run this program 4 times per year, with a maximum of 10 participants in each group. Check the program page for the date of the next group and details. |
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