By Eliane, founder Parenting For Wholeness
This is an article I first wrote 1 1/2 years ago, after having a complete breakdown which ended up being one of the most positive things that ever happened to me. I'll be writing a lot more over the next few months about that experience, and all the beautiful lessons and healings that have come as a result of it.
Is there something it’s time for you to say ‘no more’ to, also?
I’m in the middle of a huge transition right now.
The cause of the transition is a huge ‘no more’ cry, arising out of seemingly every cell in my body. An absolute unwillingness to keep going the way I have been.
A seemingly innocuous incident triggered it, but it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
It’s been painful, challenging, debilitating, all consuming, and even destructive, yet I’m incredibly grateful for it.
Because it’s paving the way for and the beginning of deep and incredibly nourishing changes in me and in my life. Changes that I didn’t even know were possible for me.
It’s bringing me incredible hope.
I’ve experienced something similar about 10 years ago, and more minor versions of it several times in my life. As a result, I know the incredible power of getting to that place of ‘no more,’ or ‘I’m done,’ or ‘this is just not an option.’
Saying a categorical ‘no’ to something means I don’t have a choice but to find a different way.
Even if I’m absolutely clueless as to what that different way is, and if the process takes time and is sometimes excruciating, closing the door to the alternative means I have to find my way to the opposite of what I don’t want.
For a long time, it was a mystery to me how I had managed to parent my daughters the way I did, considering the deeply messed up childhood and parents I had, and the absence of positive parenting examples in my life.
Until I realized it came from the commitment I made to what would NOT happen:
I committed that my daughters would never feel about themselves the way I did.
I committed that they would never be treated as less than full and perfect human beings.
And that commitment is what fueled me to pursue whatever I needed to until I could find a way to parent them that felt 100% right in my bones.
It took me 5 years of intensive parenting research and studied practice (reading books, attending conferences, participating in many parenting groups, most of which I led, and lastly and most importantly studying The Continuum Concept until I figured out how to apply in to my Western life,) and I eventually did find my way to what I now call Clean Parenting™.
And I’ve reached my goal of my now adult daughters having absolutely no clue what it feels like to not feel good about themselves, to not feel like they belong, to have low confidence, to have challenges in relationships, to have a hard time finding happiness in the world and in their skin, to feel like something’s wrong with them.
Being clear on my ‘no’ and shutting the door on that alternative is what allowed me to achieve something absolutely amazing in my family, something most people told me was impossible.
Mothers who contact me often do so because they’ve reached that place of ‘no.’
They may have treated their child in a way they just can’t stand.
Realized they don’t enjoy parenting because the disharmony is just too painful or exhausting.
See their children interact together negatively and realize that if something doesn’t drastically change, they’re heading down a bad path.
See their child not thriving and decide it’s just not okay.
Realize they’re getting farther and farther from their parenting ideals.
When they talk to me, they’re in pain, discouraged, feel regret and sometimes even despair.
Yet I celebrate.
Because I KNOW their life and that of their children and family as a whole is likely about to change.
Having worked with hundreds of parents, I know the power of reaching that place of looking reality in the face, deciding something needs to change, and doing whatever it takes to make that change happen.
When those parents decide to take action and sign up for my Clean Parenting™ Program (which for many is the most direct path to what they do want,) I know that their life will be dramatically different in just 2 short months.
So is there something YOU are ready to say 'no more!' to?
If so, take a moment to sit with place in you that know it's time for something to be over. When you're deeply grounded in it, you'll likely know what action you need to take next to move your life toward. Don't think about the whole journey. All you need to know is the very next step, and trust that once you take it, the following one will become clear.
This is a guidance that's never failed me.
With lots of love,
PS: Are you ready to say ‘no more’ to what’s going on in your family?
If you deeply resonate with my perspective and with Clean Parenting™, do yourself and your family the favor of checking out my Clean Parenting™ Program.
It might just be what’s needed for you to finally start living what you believe in your heart is possible.